paragraph evaluation......

I have fixed the grammar in my paragraph, yet found many other mistakes. My details did not flow very well, so I tried to change those. My peer review review helped ALOT!!! She helped me to re-word alot of my sentences. and showed me where I was not flowing. Her feedback helped me to understand alot of my mistakes and see how my points were not making very much sense. I have definitely learned from my peer feedback and from my teacher's feedback. I need to change the body of my paragraph to get more specific details and make the sentence flow more.